I was awake for 30 hours.
My boyfriend let me sleep until 6pm so I couldn't get close to wanting to sleep until 11am. Then I found out my cousin from Idaho was coming over today so I had to stay awake and see her otherwise I would just get yelled at. Then by the time everyone left it was 2pm so I think "Okay I have 2 hours before Alyssa(my friend) comes over I can totally nap." but whenever I almost fell asleep I got this huge head rush and I didn't fall asleep until 10 minutes before my 4pm alarm went off. Then when Alyssa came over to catch up time completely got away from us and she didn't leave/I couldn't get to Lucas's until 12 and for whatever reason I couldn't sleep until 2am.
Know what's worse? My body craved food for energy at this point and I just kept eating. I felt like such a whale. I'm so fucking fat and gross what is my fucking problem. I just want to get thin, why is that so fucking wrong? Why can't I be happy, too?!
And of course I slept for HOURS and it's 10:30pm and I'm of course not fucking tired. I also have an appointment at noon tomorrow and now I'm going to be exhausted again.
I hate myself right now. And from being up for 30 fucking hours my entire body is in pain because I didnt give it a break.
FUCK. MY. LIFE.
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