I haven't been exercising as much lately, all I've really been doing is tracking my steps and other small things. Don't get me wrong, it's nice to know shopping burned an extra 200 calories but at the same time I've been so upset with myself because I know that I could be doing so much more to better my body.
What's worse is that since I was up for 30 hours all I've been doing is sleeping. I can't keep myself awake no matter how well I sleep or how long I sleep and it's seriously cutting into my work out will power. It stops me from eating because i'm not conscious but that shouldn't be an excuse to just keep sleeping.
I really wish my blog was more public.. I need help. I need advice and I need encouragement. Julie (My Ana buddy) is wonderful at what she does but the time zone differences can be a little hindering at random hours of the day/night and there isn't anyone in my life that really supports what I do. I have friends that know I'm on a diet but they don't know how extreme it is. Today I had Broccoli, Chicken and Potato soup, a green tea Peace Tea and then later on I had two grilled Quesadillas. Nothing additional. Just cheese in a flower tortilla. My fitness app told me that was far too much for my day because of the quesadillas (I already know my sodium intake went out the window) but I thought I did kind of okay since I had really only eaten twice.
I guess that means that my brain is going back to it's old ways and it's starting to think that what i'm doing is okay when it's not. I should only be eating very VERY low calorie foods and mainly just water. It's easy after 3 days so I can get back in the swing of things but I can't believe one binge could be so devastating to a diet. I need to start writing everything down again. If I can write down the disgusting lard that I ate then maybe it can start becoming real again and I can knock my bullshit off.
I just want to be thin..
I understand how you feel. I suffer from bulimia. Even though I have worked extremely hard to stop purging almost entirely, I still have a massive amount of struggles when it comes to binging.
ReplyDeleteI live in the Central Time Zone, and I would love to be a form of support, if you would like.
I used to suffer from bulimia and you're right, it's really hard to stop and there have been a few times where I had to force myself out of the bathroom. I would welcome your support. I haven't used Blogspot in years so I forget how to message people but please feel free to either get a hold of me on here or on my tumblr (RiceCakeQueen)
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